It's a phrase becoming more and more popular as we speak, or as you read in this case.
It was made popular by it's overusage in the hit mockumentary, 'The Office' (I.LOVE.DUNDER.MIFFLIN ♥). The woman being referred to is no one in particular but seems to be a woman who really knows her way around, if you know what I mean. You can add it to the end of any sentence although it's typically used at the end of any sexually suggestive remarks/comments. Take a look at the video I posted for some examples of how it's being used if you don't already know.
The phrase, "That's what she said." seems completely innocent. It seems to be a neutral statement, not suggestive of anything. However it's use in 'The Office' (and many others shows) has made it appear to mean something a hooker once said. Behold,
Two students are working on an English assignment,
'This is so hard!' says one student, followed closely by 'That's what she said.' implies something different from what is it's intended meaning. The first student was implying that the homework assigned was a challenge while the phrase added on to it ... well... *cough* that implies that something else was hard.
Anyways, that's enough about how it's used. Although when the phrase was first used I did laugh, I started to wonder why there isn't an equivalent phrase for males like 'That's what he said'. Sure, it doesn't sound so suggestive yet like 'That's what she said.", but that's how it started out for 'That's what she said.' The fact that this phrase exists and isolates a female is implying that only womankind is capable of such behaviour which is not true. This is a stereotype that exists in many TV shows and is very degrading. Isn't it true that men can be just as horny? Just thought I'd bring it to everyone's attention.
Points to discuss,
1) Do you feel that it is acceptable to use a phrase like this? Do you think it's offensive or just a joke? Should this be considered a form of sexual harassment if this phrase is used in this way at work?
2)Can you think of any other phrases/jokes that involve degrading women? When did you learn them?
(ex. Your momma jokes)
3) Do you think TV shows can be entertaining but at the same time, not make negative comments about groups of people? Why or why not?
http://www.todayifoundout.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/thatswhatshesaid.png
ReplyDeleteHere is another example of thats what she said jokes
1)I think this phrase is over used as a joke and I think it is not acceptable for guys to make fun of women in general. I think it is offensive against females and it is only like a joke for males. This can be considered a form of sexual harassment if a guy said that out loud in front of a woman, it would make the woman feel uncomfortable and it would be very similar to verbally attacking to that woman.
2)There are blonde jokes that degrades female blondes in particular by making fun of their stereotypical stupidity. I learn them by watching media, mostly on television when I was like a child.
3)I think it will be very hard for tv shows to be entertaining or funny by not being able to make negative comments about groups of people. There will too many restriction as many actions will be considered to be negative comments on a certain group. Similar to this joke on thats what she said, people can say that to basically anything one say. This also applies to entertainment shows, people can interpret anything said by the show to be a negative comment on a certain group. In conclusion, I find it impossible or extremely hard for this to be happening.
OH MY GOD! This is an awesome post Sadaf, I'm so glad you pointed this out.
ReplyDeleteOf course I think such phrases are extremely offensive to females! When you say sexual harassment, is it something you plan to charge someone with? I don't think you intended that, but in case you did, I would say that I do not think it is something a woman would get much out of, since the matter would be laughed at by our male chauvinistic society.
Personally, I have heard this phrase being used extremely often (at Kipling, of course) and it makes me angry every time I hear it. Since such phrases and jokes originated from television, I feel that the media is sending out extremely negative messages to its consumers.
To cool down my frustration at these pointless 'jokes', I like to think of it this way: Men saying "that's what she said" for every sentence that they can take a double meaning of is simply proof of that individual's cheap, perverted mind.
Of course though, it is obvious that they are trying to refer to "her" (which could be just about any female) as slutty, sex-crazed and well... sex-crazed. I doubt producers of media ever think of the social implications of what they spread, because they are clearly just interested in its commercial value.
'Your mom' jokes aren't something any of us are strangers too, either. Actually, I first heard that phrase only after moving to Canada. The first time someone said that to me as a joke, I had tears in my eyes! It still pisses me off everytime I hear someone say it - I do not get how insulting someone's mother can be a good comeback. Why don't they say "Your Dad!" Why can men not be associated with negative actions? Imagine the effect this has on the young children who consume this kind of media, and grow up thinking it is normal to say such things!
Okay... I think I sort of went on a rant there. But you get the point. The media is sending negative messages to consumers about females for the sake of entertainment and money-making. Whichever way you try to interpret such jokes, it comes down to the fact that almost all of them are targeted at women.
But since the media only cares about money, do you think they will stop?
I think this is a really interesting topic, so I've got a few skeptical questions of my own:
1. Do you think the use of "That's what she said" could be the result a male trying to boast about his oh-so-exciting sex life (I apologize for being so ...blatant), and not consciously wanting to bring down women?
2. If you agree with (1), then what does that say about the male character?
@ Ryan;
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading =)
I agree with you in that if TV shows, movies, etc. removed all stereotypes than it wouldn't be entertaining anymore. Let's remember that we're not laughing because the stereotype is SO TRUE we're laughing because it's SO NOT TRUE THAT IT'S ABSURD TO THINK IT EVER WAS! As long as the show isn't all about the stereotyping and they at least redeem themselves by picking at the opposite gender, I think that it's a healthy dose of a laugh.
@ Muskaan; So glad you enjoyed it =D ~!
And yes I was getting at actual criminal charges :P You don't think the harassment case would win? Well, I agree with you on that because, like you said, they'd simply dismiss it as a joke and actually reinforce the stereotype in the media that portrays women as being sensitive, over-emotional and irrational. Does this mean that our justice system isn't really doing their job right?
Hmmm... interesting point you made, Muskaan. It does reveal a bit about the person who uses it. The main character Michael Scott likes to believe he's got a really active sex life but that's not true. Far from the truth actually XD, he barely gets any. That's exactly why he uses the joke; to create this illusion that he does have an exciting sex life.
1. this sentence"that's what she said" discriminating joke just like every other joke in now days culture. I mean i want to respond your question with an other question, when did we start to have a discussion without discriminating a particular member of our society or without appeal to sarcasm and irony? And yes I agree with you Sadaf, I am personally responsible as well. I don't think people who say this sentence to make sarcasm really think it through. It is not meant in a bad way although the real meaning to the subject is really underestimated. Which is really bad today's show underestimate the power of stereotypes. Stereotypes are just like lies if you keep repeating them over and over you end-up believing them, the good old fashion family shows now days are gone but if people REALLY THOUGHT THIS THROUGH THEY TV AND MEDIA WOULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING MORE GENUINE AND CONSTRUCTIVE.
ReplyDelete1. I believes the phrase is supposed to represent a man bragging about a sexual encounter he had with a woman. It doesn't suggest that only women are capable of sexual behavior because the it still implies that a man was there. I guess the reason that there is no male equivalent is because men tend to brag about sex, whereas women seem to be ashamed of it. I think statement better reflects the fact that men having sex is cool and something to be bragged about, but a woman is considered a "whore" if she sleeps with too many men.
ReplyDelete2. Any joke referring woman as housewives. (there are many)
3. Yes. There is such a thing as "clean humour" (ex.Seinfield) that doesn't rely of racism or sexism to be funny. I do think that there is harmless stereotyping that can be used as a joke while still being harmless.
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ReplyDeleteGreat post Sadaf!
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I agree with everything you’ve said. Next time anyone says something which has a double meaning, I am going to say ‘that’s what he said’. Hahahha....
I don’t think that it should be acceptable to use such phrases in day to day life. I remember when I first came to Canada, my two cousins were talking to each other and one of them said “That’s what she said”. I swear to God I had never been so confused in my entire life. I was like “it’s a guy who said that why are you saying ‘that’s what she said?’” And they just laughed. Sad life.....
Oh wells, now I know what it means, so it’s all good! I think it’s just a joke and not something that should be taken so offensively. And I really don’t think that this should be considered as a form of sexual harassment. What are harassing? It’s just like saying “HA! You just said something that has a double meaning!” Isn’t it?
The blond jokes!! There are soo many of them and half of them don’t even make sense. Or maybe I’m super dumb.... and I learned from nowhere else but our very own Facebook ‘like’ pages.
And also the "your momma" jokes. They are honestly the worst thing I've ever heard. Okay I get it that you are in the mood to make fun, but why do you go on the other persons mother? What did she ever do to you!!! Yea I don't really get the point of it.
Well for your third question, I’m not too sure that it can happen now. I mean, half of the TV shows are funny because they make fun of people. Imagine Russel Peters without making any jokes about the brown community. He won’t be that funny….will he? Now that the media has reached a level where it can influence people so much, people are sort of addicted to it and try to replicate it in their own lives. However, people sometimes cross the lines which then hurt other people. Comedians who make fun of other people are way more popular than comedians who don’t. People go to the comedians who make them laugh, and how do they make them laugh? By making fun of other groups of people.
I own The Office board game (yes, I am a loser). While you play the game you get extra points every time you can appropriately use "that's what she said." I learned very quickly never to say "that's hard" in relation to a question.
ReplyDeleteHaha Sadaf first of all thank you for explaining to me the meaning of this joke. I have heard about this phrase quite many times before but I did not actually understand its real meaning.
ReplyDeleteEven though I understand that this phrase is very offensive to women, I have to say that I found it SUPER FUNNY when I actually got its meaning. I couln't help laughing! Sorry if you think I'm rude but after all, I am a guy =D
Ok, go back to your first question. I think that this phrase should not be acceptable because the person who says this (mostly a guy) certainly has some negative views regarding women in general. Although men say this as a joke and they may not intend to degrade women or anything, I think in their subconscious mind they think women are horny, perverted, (excuse me if this sounds offensive to you) but they always put on the appearance of a naive, innocent girl to hide away their sexual desires. This phrase can also be the result of men thinking of the unfairness that they have to "suffer" on the subject of sexuality. Why are men always seen as being sex-obsessed, perverted as a matter of fact but not women, though women could be possibly just as horny as men? It is not fair for men to be seen as perverts while women can be too. Most men would think of women like, "C'mon, stop acting like you're innocent."
As I said, this phrase "should not be" acceptable if we take gender equality into account. But if we look at it from a different view point, this joke is actually very funny and in many cases can make the everyone laugh, even women too. Many women find this offensive, but there are others who don't take this joke seriously and they may even laugh comfortably. So I think this depends on the situation, when to say it and who to say it to. After all, it is just a joke and usually jokes like this are the funniest ones.
This could be a form of sexual harassment if it is used improperly. As I just said, this depends on the situation. If the woman finds it extremely offensive but the men keeps on saying it and referring it to her, this is not OK.
Other degrading women jokes? Definitely jokes about the blondes! Haha, these jokes are just everywhere, I remember the first time I read one was when I was in grade 3! They are just...unbelievable xD
I think TV shows can be funny and at the same time, not make negative comments about a certain group of people, but this is really hard and the other jokes may not be as funny and maybe "shallow". I find sarcasm, satires and sometimes not-very-clean jokes to be the funniest jokes of all. They make you laugh and you think about them afterwards. These jokes stay with you longer than other normal jokes. They are funny in a very, very different way.
This joke had been a little to extra over the past years. I think it has diminished as for now. This phrase is used more in a joking approach rather than in attempt to actually insult women. The examples shown in the video are more of an insult and a little unsuitable firstly because men on their mid thirties are using this joke and secondly it is used in a work environment, which makes it even worse. If youth use it around their group of friends and the joke isn’t as derogatory to the girl then it would not be as a big of a deal. If the girl feels uncomfortable and complains then those who are using this joke should most definitely stop and not further this situation.
ReplyDeleteIt really depends when/where you use it and how far you go with the joke. As long as the people around are not offended then for a jokes sake it could by all means used. At the same time, if one is purposely degrading women in obvious approach then it would be strongly unacceptable in my part. It would otherwise allow men to be able to indirectly make derogative comments about certain girls, for example ones they have dated or are currently dating and feel more superior to them(show off in a sense), therefore share these jokes around their fellows.