What did these poor kiddos ever do to us?
Right from the time they are young, through media and family, children are socialized to understand and conform to their gender roles. It’s just the way our society works; unintentionally, we draw lines and tell the child to not cross them, forcing them to follow norms.
We make girls read fairytales and watch Disney princesses through their childhood years. Then, we make lists about the wrong stereotypes of women, in which we list the following: concerned with physical beauty, emotional, having long hair. Well, how can you blame them, when the first things we expose these girls to is the angelic face of Ariel or Barbie’s perfectly made-up eyes?
Parents provide their kids with toys as they grow up, which is a major influence on the child’s mentality. Why is it that young girls are always encouraged to play with dolls and boys with racecars? Let me insert my first question here: Do you think that the stereotype that females form emotional bonds more deeply and are caring and affectionate stems from the fact that from the time girls are little, we give them dolls and tell them to take care of them?
Okay, let’s not leave the boys out. I don’t know much, since I’m a girl (I hope you figured that out by now) and I don’t have any male siblings. But from what I’ve seen, they’re into Pokemon wars, Power Rangers, racing cars and all the possible action-packed video games there are. [I know I sound really ignorant of everything that young boys do, Sorry! Please enlighten me!] Well, anyway, all those are usually involved with ‘saving the day’ or ‘aggression’ or ‘physical strength’ – and I’m sure all of these probably ring a bell.
Have you ever noticed a girl being crazy about Hot Wheel cars? Well, I was one of them. I don’t know why, but I have this collection of toy racecars. Yes, I was laughed at by all the girls in my class who preferred lip gloss by then. The same could probably be said about a young boy who cannot sleep without his stuffed toy by age ten.
So how can we be complaining about our society being closed-minded or the fact that wrong stereotypes about men/women exist, when we are the ones conditioning our youth to these beliefs?
So here are my questions besides those that I already stuck in random parts through my post:
1. Do you think that these early influences exert a subconscious pressure on the minds of girls and boys regarding how they are supposed to behave?
2. Is this conditioning wrong? Does our society need to change?Explain why/how.
Great points you bring up here Muskaan =). I was going to write up an article on this but you beat me to it!
ReplyDeleteExposing girls to primarily barbies and princesses and dress up games early on does indeed impact them at a subconscious level. The kids become accustomed to those things and develop interest in them as those are the only objects they are exposed to.
When my little sister was born my family bought her a pink blanket, but when my little brother was born we bought him a blue blanket. I think we do this because we feel the child will develop a personality type based on the emotions/moods associated with the colors(pink = cute, blue=strength).
Okay so maybe the colors might not have much of an effect on the child =P but remember anthropology? We learned that when dealing with female children parents tend to be delicate and careful with the child whereas with the male child they give him a truck and act more aggressive with him? Kids grow up with these experiences and it becomes a part of who they are later on.
Hmmm... maybe tomboys(like you!) are a result of girls growing up with boy toys... woah sounds weird XD
and sensitive guys may be the result of boys growing up with less aggressive activities and more care-giving activities (ex. house, doctor, etc).
I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to condition your child because a child knows nothing when they are born. They learn from the attitudes their parents have towards certain subjects. When my brother came home from daycare one day and said a 'bad word' we showed him we were really upset by it. Although he didn't understand the complexity of the situation, he could tell from our expressions that it was not something acceptable or encouraged. The same can be done to encourage good behaviour. What I'm saying is that it's necessary to condition a child, but not about gender roles which is what your article is getting at. It's been the norm since forever to buy your daughters kitchen sets and your sons racecars, but it's time for change. We shouldn't subliminally try to force our kids into thinking any one way, we should give them the chance to make the decision on their own whether it be what toys they want to play with or their sexuality =\.
I think that to eliminate stereotypes that arise from early childhood experiences we should open our children to a wide selection of toys and movies and tv shows, like my brother for example. He plays with cars, dolls, blocks, and watches basically everything :P. You can tell from his behaviour though that he's not like the other boys. While every other boy is probably rolling around in the grass and looking for earth worms, Zak helps us cook in the kitchen~! And that's totally okay.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete1. Do you think that these early influences exert a subconscious pressure on the minds of girls and boys regarding how they are supposed to behave?
ReplyDeleteThis question could be debatable, however, from my point of view these early influences do not exert subconscious pressure on the minds of girls and boys regarding how they are supposed to behave. The reasons why are pretty obvious from my part. Kids are tempted with these toys based on their own interests and sense of natural feelings. Girls are interested in playing with Barbie’s and other dolls that are depicted as certain characters as seen in cartoons like Cinderella etc, and boys on the other hand, are more attracted to toys that relate to their own gender identity, such as cars, video games, male character toys etc. This is the way it has always been and I don’t believe there is anything wrong with this phenomenon. Nonetheless, it is not necessary that every boy or girl will follow the things reflecting their gender in similar ways; there are some kids that would be fine playing with either type of toy. What I am trying to highlight here is that the media has no type of influence over what toys, colors or games all children need to engage on. To my knowledge, there is no way you can impose a girl toy such as a Barbie to a boy who is raised to believe or know that it is an uncomfortable thing for him to play with. Girls are different in their own ways and guys are different in theirs. It is a natural thing. It has nothing to do with the influence of media, people or what have you. Something that clearly proves my point is this commercial or a video I had come across a little while ago. It shows a little boy in a baby stand who was being offered a Barbie to play with, and each time he was given the doll, the boy would knock it off on the floor repeatedly. This Joke went on a couple of times in a row until the parent eventually offers a car to the boy and he suddenly gets excited about it. The boy grabs the toy and screams in joy of having it to play with. I was looking to see if I can find it on YouTube but I didn’t have any luck. Anyhow, to conclude my point, the media is not inflicting ideas of gender difference in children. They simply create toys and other cartoons or video games based on children’s interests and likes so then children can have a mix of different things out there they could chose to play with.
We have to take responsibility and assume that if gender stereotypes exist out there, some of them or all of them are results of us being raised in a certain way, therefore in turn causing us to have specific beliefs about things. The media (in the form of cartoons) plays an important role in the life of a kid in the sense that he/she is exposed to it all the time. I'm sure that in those cartoons, gender roles are being depicted maybe unintentionally, but they are very much present.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to conditioning your child as to what toys should be bought or not, i think ideally a child should be exposed to a little bit of everything. As Muskaan says, limiting your child to only certain types of toys and to what is considered gender-related material would eventually cause the kid into developing in a certain way, in turn resulting in those stereotypes present nowadays. However, i think it's not as easy as it seems to expose your child to a little bit of everything. Somehow, it seems like it's easier to expose a girl to many things (such as cars, action figures, dolls, etc) and not really worry about how she would turn out to be whereas for a boy, it looks as though it would be more complicated. Especially if he's the first born and as a result does not have access to any previous toys owned by maybe his elder sister or brother, it looks as if it's a really hard decision as to whether to expose him to everything or not (such as buying him a doll tea set). I personally think it might be a good thing as long as he's exposed to a little bit of everything else but even nowadays it would still be a very hard decision to make.
All you guys made some really interesting points!
ReplyDeleteSadaf,
I completely get what you said about the pink vs. blue, though I fail to understand a reason behind this practice. What you said about kids only being interested in what they are exposed to most is very valid. It is basically families (institutions) socializing their kids, and the dominant discourse that they are exposed to is based on what gender they are.
I know that me being a tomboy and a boy having played with dolls seemed a little out of place at a younger age, but I still have an attachment to my cars the way my friends have an attachment to their first Barbie. Of course, it is a difference that I am proud of now.
Both Sadaf & Hans:
Obviously, I am not against conditioning children - that is one of the key ways to socialize them and make them understand the difference between right and wrong. However, I don't see why a parent cannot place a doll and a car in front of boy, and let the child play with any one!
A similar analogy would be right handed vs. left handed people. In the old days, parents actually conditioned their children to be right-handed by punishing them everything they used their left hand to do something! Sure, you prefer something personally, but why can't you let your child choose what hand he/she wants to use, or which toy he/she wants to play with?
Hans:
I think I understand WHAT you are trying to say about how it is easier to expose girls to a wider range of toys/media than it is for boys; but I don't get WHY. Why should it be a hard decision to buy your son a set of dolls?
Is it because the image of a boy playing with a doll just appears 'weird' in one's mind?
I also get what you mean when you say that gender roles in cartoons and fairytales are depicted unintentionally, but I think that is a mistake on our part. Children are the future of our society, and a lot more care should be taken to help them grow up with open minds and without stereotypes. The way we can make this happen is by educating them about these things and being very careful with regards to what they are exposed to.
Lindita, I understand what you are trying to say. But you made a point that “boys are more attracted to toys that relate to their own gender identity”, however, gender identity is something that is mainly created by socialization. I disagree that it the male’s natural instincts that make him want to play with racecars, just as girls do with dolls.
ReplyDeleteI guess we’re going towards that never-ending debate regarding Nature vs. Nurture. You’re saying that the way a boy and girl behave and inherently different due to their genes, while I’m arguing that many of the behavioural differences would not be as apparent if we did not expose the kids to stereotypes and gender roles at such early ages.
The commercial you are talking about – the same behaviour is seen clearly in many of the children today. But I don’t believe that the boy chose the car simply because he is a boy, and the ‘play with cars, not dolls’ gene is in his Y chromosome. I think I can safely assume that the reason behind his pushing the Barbie away may be that he has seen only girls playing with Barbies, and all his male friends showing off their cars, and he wants to be included.
One of the things you said did not support what you’re trying to convey: “there is no way you can impose a girl toy such as a Barbie to a boy who is raised to believe or know that it is an uncomfortable thing for him to play with.” You used to words ‘raised to believe’, basically meaning that you agree that the people who have brought him up have influenced him so that he thinks that playing with dolls is ‘uncomfortable’.
In your last sentence you also said that different toys are created so that “children can have a mix of different things out there they could choose to play with.” That is what should be the case; however, even though different types of toys are being made, it is still true that boys are not often given the choice to play with dolls and other ‘girly’ toys while girls are not encouraged to play with action figures and other ‘aggressive, boyish’ toys.
To answer's Muskaan's first question, I'd like to tell a story about 2 children, one boy and one girl, who were born on the same day, nurtured by two typical families in society with the same parenting style.
ReplyDeleteIn their early stages of life, every time the boy cried, his parents said to him, "stop crying, boys look ugly when they cry." As for the girl, her parents indulged, "girls are always crying like that." The boy wondered, "How come boys cannot cry but girls can?" Gradually he learns to contain himself so as not to be called "a girl".
They were both playful. The girl's parents told her, "girls are not like that. Be gentle." On the other hand, the boy's parents proudly talked to their friends, "you see, he's such an active boy."
When they were teenagers, the girl's parents taught her to be considerate, be careful of the boys. They set a curfew for her. By nature she was carefree and bold, but now she had to put on the appearance of a young woman. For the boy, he was encouraged to be bold. "Don't be shy like girls."
The girl was taught to be patient and waiting, never come to boys first, whereas the boy learned from his friends that "a man must know how to pick up girls".
***
Is this a clear answer to your question Muskaan? YES. Definitely these early influences have molded the children's behaviors and reinforced the gender stereotypes that are ever-present nowadays. In my opinion, gender stereotypes start right from the home, where a child is molded by the conventions and customs of its parents since birth.
It is hard to say if this condition is right or wrong. What could the parents have done differently in the development of their children? Stop the daughter from playing Barbie, Kitty, Teddy Bear and get them interested in Power Rangers, cars, and video games and do the opposite to son? Uhmmm...this doesn't sound like a good idea to me, otherwise we would be promoting homosexuals :P
Muskaan, I have a question for you. If in the future you have a son and you leave it all up to him to choose his toys and he seems to be interested in Barbie and Kitty and cooking games more than other boys' toys, what would you do? Would you try to get him interested in boy's toys rather?
Muskaan, I love your point about how parents start influencing their children to think a certain way about both genders. The girls more quite, obedient, self-conscious and boys more strong, saviors, strong. For every age group there is something that the media advertises somehow that shows the major difference between both males and females. As you mentioned when we're young we're exposed to toys (barbies for girls and cars for guys), then when we get a bit older we get cartoon shows which show the "ideal" images for both guys and girls. Then come the action movies like iron-man, superman, spider-man. Notice one thing how all of them end with man? :-o
ReplyDeleteThere is another stereotype media portrays that men are always the dominant ones. In these movies a male is always the protagonist and a female comes in when...well...when the guys want to start a relationship. It's never a matter of saving the day for a female in movies, or being the hero, it's always the other way around. The male ends up saving the girl from villains and protects her. Why can't the girl protect the guy?
Is it because we're not physically strong?
This is definitely something we need to work on and END! Media has corrupted everyone's mind especially parents who teach their little ones to act a certain way from a very young age. Maybe parents can give their children toys of both genders to play with for example girls and boys play with both toys and barbies. Or people should start making new toys which won't affect a child's mind so much that later on life they want everything perfect. Even their body!
I do think that these early influences exert a subconscious pressure on the minds of young girls and boys regarding how they are supposed to behave. During this stage of growth, the children is developing their brain and they learn things very quickly. It is also their first step into creating their own personality and what they see will greatly affect how they will act in the future.
ReplyDeleteAlso I found that people who have the same interest in certain toys as me have the same values and other interests as me.
I do not think this conditioning is wrong because we have to atleast teach some basic life lessons to the children. Our society is always constantly changing and I think the parents have the right to teach or do anything to their children that is reasonable. This conditioning is kind of like a tradition of a child growing up and it will take some time for it to change if it is to be changed.
You make a very valid point throughout your entire post Muskaan. Before we're even out of the womb parents find out the gender of the child in order to colour co-ordinate their belongings. Pink for girls, because it's seen as a feminine colour and blue and green for boys because that's more masculine. And yellow, if you're the type of parent who doesn't mind unisex colours. Please keep in mind... I'm being sarcastic. As to why colours are segragated in order to signify that your child is a boy or girl, is weird to me personally.
ReplyDelete1. Do you think that these early influences exert a subconscious pressure on the minds of girls and boys regarding how they are supposed to behave?
In a sense, it does because if a girl grows up with nothing but dolls and pink objects surrounding her, she can be involved in other activities or hobbies yes, but how often will you see a boy playing soccer and dressing up his barbie? Not very typical, mainly because we've separated hobbies, activities and interests into groups of what females or males are "typically" interested in.
2. Is this conditioning wrong? Does our society need to change?Explain why/how.
This is conditioning wrong, because of this boys do not feel comfortable crossing that "feminine" line, and if they do they're considered gay if they play with barbies, watch Disney Princess movies or even wear pink! Then it adds to the list of stereotypes by implying that any of those are "feminine." As to how we can change this, is really hard to say. We can, at an early childhood age, educate children in different types of activity, and let them be open minded as to what they personally like instead of what they may like because they're a girl/boy.
I’d like to add something to the Nature vs. Nurture debate.
ReplyDeleteThere are some studies that show that the brains of men and women are wired differently.
Some of the sex-specific differences are located in the neo cortex where the two hemispheres are joined. Men and women inherently process information differently.
The left hemisphere controls language analysis and expression and body movements while the right hemisphere controls facial expression, and emotions.
(1) Men are generally better at rotating 3D objects in their minds
(2) Women listen with both their ears while men favour their right ear
(3) Women are generally better at recognizing emotional/facial cues in conversations
(4) Women generally use both hemispheres of the brain when solving problems while men use one
Clearly, many of the strengths and weaknesses that men and women typically have are inherent. So male and female children are inherently different and because of that they choose certain toys or behaviours.
Also, a study was conducted on monkeys, animals that have a similar biologically make up as humans. They also engage in similar gender roles. Female monkeys are nurturers and the males are aggressive. When testosterone was injected into the female monkeys they behaved like the males and didn’t nurture. And for humans, males have more testosterone which is linked to aggression. And because most boys have more testosterone than girls it could be a reason as to why boys like to play violent video games etc…more often than girls.
Also, it is logical that male children play with toys that involve the stereotype of saving the day or physical strength because on average women have 55- 58 percent of the upper body strength of men and are only 80 percent as strong as a man of identical weight.
So, yes environment does affect children, but it is a combination of environment and inherent influences.
(1) Yes early childhood influences do affect the way children behave. Even with their innate qualities children can behave in ways that are learned through socialization and the dominant discourse that they are surrounded with.
(2) I feel that this conditioning is wrong. Because we teach male and female children to act in a certain way it carries on with them there whole life. There is also a study that shows that a child’s personality is fixed at age 5. So if we keep conditioning children then we will never be able to get rid of stereotypes in society. To remove stereotypes in society it is important that we do not teach them to children. I also noticed that when we are children we are conditioned by our elders to believe in stereotypes and then other institutions such as school teach us that what we were taught as children was not necessarily true. Instead, why don’t we stop conditioning children in the first place?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Andy, you made me raise my eyebrows nicely at your comment.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you regarding your story and how you explained the difference in the conditioning of girls and boys, but I disagree where you said that you think it is alright. There is a lot that can be done differently in bringing up children, starting with the fact that a parent should not limit the child’s options to simply ‘girly’ toys for girls and vice versa. Here’s where I think you are wrong, but I’d love to hear you defend it; you said that encouraging a girl to play with Power Rangers and boys to play with Barbies would be promoting homosexuality. One’s sexual orientation is not determined by what toys one plays with as a kid. Sure, it may make a boy have more ‘feminine’ qualities of sensitivity and take more care of grooming themselves. But I don’t see anything wrong with that! I do not understand what the problem is with that, or with a girl loving Call of Duty or God of War video games (I FAIL! I know those are video games, but I have no clue how old they are).
I guess that answers your question Andy; I would be overjoyed if my son liked to play ‘kitchen’, I’d know that I’d be treated to good food in the future! I do not see anything ridiculously wrong with my son liking to play with dolls. If I tried to force him to play with ‘boy’s toys’ by only providing him with those, I would probably be taking away his happiness, which would not be an option.
ANBER! What you said is very true: Ironman, Superman, Spiderman. We know that kids are most interested in watching these kinds of movies, and the message that it generates is quite plain. Boys can save the world, and girls can thank them by kissing them while they hang upside down. I don’t remember too many movies where the girl was the sole character with superpowers.
Ryan, I agree that we have to teach basic life lessons to our children, but do they have to include messages that are segregated by gender? Yes, parents have the right to teach their children, but I think it is the responsibility of today’s parents to bring up their children with open minds, so that we get rid of homophobia, sexism, discrimination, racism, and all those other social evils. I know that most of these Disney princess movies for girls and PS3s (or is it PSPs?) for boys are a tradition for kids while growing up, but like you said, traditions time to change, and our generation should be the one initiating this change.
Kelly, I can’t really say much other than YAY! You agree with me :D I’d like to point out one key thing that you said which I think sums up the entire solution to this problem: Education. The only way to get rid of these stereotypes, and unlearn these practices of conditioning our children is by spreading the message and educating people that it is not ‘wrong’ for a girl to like car-racing and a boy to enjoy playing ‘Kitchen’.
ReplyDeleteSimmi, good ol’ Anthropology eh? ;)
Yes, I remember reading about that study last year too. Of course we are all aware that men and women have numerous physiological differences, including the scientifically proven fact that men on average have more physical strength than females.
I am not denying that if you placed dolls and cars in front of a boy, his testosterone and other inherent ‘male’ qualities would more likely make him pick the cars, and the opposite would apply to females. But what I’m trying to get at is that there are those few individuals who would actually want to do what is usually characteristic of the opposite gender. And that does not immediately indicate that they are homosexual! However, the conditioning that they have been put through and the media that they have been exposed to has always given them subliminal (and sometimes explicit!) messages that they should stick to what is expected of their gender. This causes a suppression of one’s personality, which I do not think is healthy for young children.
Haha Muskaan, first of all, I really wanted to reply to your comment yesterday evening, so that we could discuss more about this matter. Unfortunately something went wrong with my computer and I could not log in to post comments.
ReplyDeleteSo here is my response, I hope it's not too late.
Muskaan, you said one's sexual orientation is not determined by what toys one plays with as a kid, I think I have a different view. I joked that letting boys play "girly toys" and vice-versa would be promoting homosexuality. Ok. This may be too much. I take that back. But to say what toys a child plays with doesn't matter to his development and orientation is not really right. We all come down to agree that early influences play a major role in shaping a child's behaviours and his orientation. Toys are one of those influences. If a boy plays with dolls and other girl's games all the time, he is likely to develop characteristics that belong to the female gender and may find it hard to fit in with other boys who play totally different games. Eventually the boy may hate to play with boys and be confused with his sexual orientation. So I think what a child plays with certainly have significant influences on what he or she will become in the future.
Well, Andy, of course what toys you play with as a child affect your development. Like we learnt in Anthropology last year, most of a child's personality is shaped by their experiences in the first five years of their life. But you're confusing personality with sexuality.
ReplyDeleteI agree with that; a boy who spends his childhood playing with dolls is going to have characteristics of sensitivity and caregiving in his personality. But these aren't really characteristics of female heterosexuals, we have only STEREOTYPED them to be! The boy here only finds it hard to fit in with other boys BECAUSE we've conditioned ALL of them to believe that sensitivity and showing your emotions is 'girly' and not accepted as a personality trait of men.
A person's sexual orientation, on the other hand, has to do with the hormone levels in their body! It has to do with something inside of you, something you identify with. It isn't something you learn to be because of who you see around you or what toys you play with.
Its like people saying "He's gay" for a guy who does ballet. But is it necessary that all male ballet dancers are gay? Delicate body language and tight clothes don't force homosexuality into a person. Similarly, I don't believe that playing violent games and racing cars through my childhood could have made me homosexual. I'm sure a male ballet dancer gets flak from his 'macho' guy friends, maybe he walks like a girl and is careful about his appearance. But having personality traits of the opposite gender does not mean you are homosexual; homosexuality is an attraction towards PEOPLE of the opposite sex!
I hope you'll reply before the blog closes xD
Yes it is true that the childhood televion shows and movies we watch affect our future behaiour, but there are some who ignore the "norm" and do what they feel is normal. Being realistic and I do not want to be offensive but I'd rather have my son/daughter watching these shows rather then a homosexual super hero or love story. I know it is wrong but it is the truth.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMuskaan, I agree with you that the hormone level in one's body is the main cause of one's sexual orientation. But this isn't the only thing that causes a person to be homosexual. People could actually be influenced to become homosexual, too! Especially when they are confused with their sexual orientation. Haven't you seen cases where a straight guy tries becoming gay, acting like gay people because he hangs out with a lot of gay friends and in the end, becomes homosexual himself. This happens, Muskaan. When a person is influenced by the "outside forces", their mentality can be changed. If a straight guy, for some reason, is confused with his sexual orientation, and he is in contact with homosexual people all the time, it is very likely that he will become one of them.
ReplyDelete