In today’s society most children are usually well-mannered, sophisticated and have valuable strengths, but where do we derive these traits from? One possible answer to that question is the way we are brought up by our parents; in other words their ‘parenting’. But what do you think might happen if your parents are of the same sex? Will you still turn out the way you did now? A justice department study has solemnly concluded that parenting by same sex families is equally good for children when compared with heterosexual families. The study was commissioned by the Liberal government in 2003. The study concluded that children who are raised by same-sex parents tend to be as competitive as parents from opposite-sex parents. Few studies also gave astonishing results that children raised by two lesbian mothers do better in social competence rather than children in ‘traditional nuclear families’. Nonetheless, almost every study on same-sex parenting has been only done on lesbian mothers because they spend the most time with their children, the report also mentions that there is too little research in particular about gay male parents to determine any terminal conclusion.Virginia West, a lesbian mother, who is raising two-year old Rowan with her partner Cheryl Reid in Toronto, said that the study validates that lesbians are better at parenting than gays. She also said that she is very content that the government organized this research because it gives a direct message that homosexuals can be good parents, this process by the government might help most homosexual’s by letting them live a normal life. According to her, she thinks if she lived in USA then she would not get these rights. She is also deeply saddened that people think that homosexual parents are detrimental to their children. I’m very aware that people think that way but you know spend a little time with us and you won’t think that way.”
Personally, homosexuals model a poor view of marriage to children. I think that they cannot make good parents and they’re detrimental to their children because; firstly the child’s future is insecure because he/she has been raised by only one type of gender so therefore it will be a problem for the child to trust the opposite gender in future as they are not used to them. This may not happen that often but sometimes both parents face too much of discrimination by the society and they may displace their anger on each other or their child, and seeing this the child might develop a negative image about the concept of homosexuality and this may also drift the child away from his/her parents. These children will face discrimination at school and from many other places; therefore they might be unable to make friends as no one would want to be with them.
Questions:
1) If you’re parents are homosexual then how would you feel? Would you just ignore this and move on with your life OR Are you going to think about it and curse yourself for being born in this family?
2) How do you think would the results of the study differ if it was done on gay’s (males) and not lesbians (females)?
3) In general the relationship between the two partners who are homosexual, do you think is it true love or is it just sexual attraction? How does this affect their children?
1) If my parents are homosexual, I will wonder who is my natural father or my natural mother. I will probably feel the same as I am right now but I can't say I will ignore this and move on with my life. I will confront with the situation as hiding will never solve the problem. I will respect my parents decision to be together as long as they truly love each other and they both truly love me. I will tell them that we are together as a family and no one can take us a part. I will never curse myself for being born in this type of family but I might feel unhappy when I get discriminate and harass because of my parents. I will try to live my life with my homosexual parents as happy as possible.
ReplyDelete2)I think the results for the males will be similar to the females. Homosexual males can be as good as a parent than the females.
3)I think it can be both but I will pick true love if i have to pick one. It is very hard for a homosexual relationship to last long because of the discrimination against them, and it will require true love between the two persons to last for a period of time. It can affect their children because they will feel bad if they parents were only sexual attracted to each other. I will think that if the two partners is just sexual attraction, they will not have children of their own.
1) If my parent’s were homosexual, I would likely be socially awkward or withdrawn from my friends. It would be extremely difficult to endure the stigma of being a child of two homosexuals. As a child I would curse my fate for being a part of such a family but I would have the comfort to know that I am doing something to decrease the stigma of having homosexual parents, because the more common homosexual parents become the more likely society is to accept such parenting as one of its norms. That’s how many norms are formed in society. For example, in the early 1900’s women were not considered persons under the law. At that time, it was a norm for women not to be recognized as people, however, today that issue is not even debated. Similarly maybe 50 years into the future (unless we all die in 2012) homosexual parenting will be accepted in society and people studying history then will call us idiots for even debating the issue.
ReplyDelete2) If the study had been done on gay couples, I would hypothesize that the results would be worse. This is because stereotypically men are not care-givers. However, I could be completely wrong. It could also turn out that the children of gay couples could be more disciplined, well mannered, and assertive. Again, I’m taking into consideration the stereotypical assumption that the male parent in a heterosexual relationship typically teaches children such qualities, while a mother is more nurturing and protective. Overall, there is no harm in having homosexuals take care of a child, but it will likely take at least a generation for their children to be fully accepted in society. It is also important to note that in today’s society many children do not live in nuclear families. If children can grow up with one parent, then why can’t homosexuals be parents too?
3) A relationship between two homosexuals can be that of love and not simply of physical attraction. If homosexuals were only physically attracted to one another, most would not bear the stigma and pain that comes with same-sex marriages in society. It’s a shame that many people link homosexuality to prostitution (countries like South Africa Nigeria etc…).
If a child who has homosexual parents sees his parents act as a couple, would it not become a “norm” for the child to see people of the same sex in a relationship, and would that child be more inclined to search for a partner of the same sex? Could homosexual parents indirectly influence their children to follow their example….can homosexuality learned?
Ryan how would you feel the same way if your dad was a female or your mother was a male? I mean (God forbid) what if one of those did not exist at all? Would not it make drastic changes in your life? I mean yes, it would not make a great difference if I consider a stereotypical gay couple in which one is manlier than the other, but what if both of them are extremely girly, or perhaps extremely manly?
ReplyDeleteSecondly, how is having a homosexual parent a “problem” when you have been with them your entire life? As Simmi pointed out, would it not become a norm for you?
As for Simmi, you pointed out that it would become a norm for you seeing gay couples, but then why would you curse your fate for having homosexual parents? I mean if it is a norm for you, then how would you know the norm for other people unless someone tells you? In addition to this, I believe that if you have homosexual parent they would love you much more than heterosexual parent just for you to not curse your fate. Don’t you think so?
Heterosexual males are a lot different than the stereotypical homosexual males. Considering this, would not the gay parents adopt you in the first place only if they were care-givers?
None the less, I believe that homosexuals “might” have been accepted, I repeat, “might” have been accepted in the society as humans, but the society, has not yet not accepted homosexuals as suitable parents or guardians.
1) If my parents were homosexual I would have a whole different perspective of what comprises of a family; male-female parents, or male-male, or female-female?? If I were I child I would have a different view of what makes up of a family then I would presently. As we get older and come to realize how we are born and raised, it would make it slightly difficult to accept why my parents are of the same sex and the majority isn’t. It would make me wonder, as Ryan had stated who my biological parents are because it is obvious that homosexuals are not able to procreate. In addition I would feel awkward telling peers about my homosexual parents due to the stigma that is attached to them. All in all, they are my parents, and I would love them either way because they are the ones who nurture and provide for me, however it would bring about lot of questions and concerns throughout my life.
ReplyDelete2) I think that both gay and lesbian parents would be similarly situated in this case. Both groups would aim for the best of their child; however it depends on individual’s preference. I would not mind either sex, because gay people’s acts/ behaviors are fairly alike to those of women which is why it would not be a great distinction.
3) I think it is more or less true love, then merely sexual attraction. Although in order to attain true love, sexual attraction should be present. The reason for their relationship being true love is obvious in that, they would not want to raise a child with someone they don’t think of settling down with. Especially considering the fact that it takes a lot of courage for homosexuals to come out and create a family of their own, due to the understandable reasons.
A mother is typically seen as the more nuturing parent who understands the child at a much deeper level than the father who is typically depicted as a person who takes the kids out to ball games and is the more fun parent to be around. However these parental roles are stereotypes themselves.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone has parents that act like this. For some, it is the opposite which means males can be just as nurturing as females and that females can be just as 'fun' as males when it comes to parenting.
This means that lesbian parents and gay parents could potentially be just as good parents as a straight couple. Besides there is no 'perfect' or 'better' family (excluding abusive families). Every family is different.
I feel that if I were in a lesbian family or gay family I would be much more comfortable with homosexualism, obviously. But I'd generally be a more open minded person because my family is so different from the current 'norm'.
I can't really say that the love between homosexuals is just sexual attraction or real love because how can you tell?
It's not something that can be proven scientifically. But what I do know is, if the couple is married there is a deeper connection than just sexual attraction.
In response to your comment Kavleen, looking at the situation from an outsider’s perspective I would feel bad if I were a child of two homosexuals. And what I meant by “norm” was a that it would be personally normal for me to live and communicate with two homosexuals on a daily basis in my private life. But the societal norm is obviously different. I might not feel embarrassed about being a child of two homosexuals at home, but outside in public, I would feel slightly ashamed because of the stigma that comes with homosexuality in the media. Personal norms and societal norms are not always the same.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, if i lived in an area where their were many homosexual couples, then it would i would not feel as bad. But i doubt that scenario would ever happen.
Replying to Kavleen's question, I might feel different from most child who has a nuclear family. After reconsidering your question since you specifically ask me the question again, I am going to change my answer. If I had a homosexual family, I might be more spoil and I might be very different from what I am right now. I might take advantage of my parents for not providing me a normal family and blame them for creating such bad environment. If my homosexual parents were very manly or very girly, I might become just like them because I am raised by them and children tend to become what their parents were like.
ReplyDeleteHmm.. Kavleen, I found your opinion interesting that you think that having same-sex parents will affect a kid’s relationship with people of the other gender. And as Simmi and Kavleen rightly said, a child who is brought up my homosexual parents will have to face a lot of discrimination in society.
ReplyDeleteTo answer Simmi’s question before I begin with Kavleen’s, like an earlier video (I forget which) showed, homosexuality is not a learned behavior or choice. It is something that you are born with. Here’s where I can also answer Kavleen’s first question. If I was brought up by same-sex parents, I do not think it would change my sexual orientation, but it would definitely increase my tolerance or open-mindedness towards homosexuality. I don’t believe I would curse myself for being a part of this family, unless I was treated wrongly. If I was treated well, then I think I would have grown up appreciating the choices and courage of homosexuals in our largely homophobic society.
I don’t know how two men may bring up a child – if we assume that some of the stereotypes about males and females are based on the truth, I would say that the child may grow up to be slightly aggressive, and not be someone who expresses their emotions easily. However, I do not think that there is anything wrong with same-sex couples bringing up a child. Do we look at it as odd, just because it is different? But then again, don’t single parents bring up perfectly good kids too?
To me, the answer to your third question is obvious. Homosexual individuals do not feel simply a sexual attraction towards members of the same sex. The definition of homosexuality itself explains that the feelings may be romantic or those of affection. It is entirely possible that it is true love, and I do not think it can have any adverse effects on their children.
If my parents were homosexuals, well, I guess that would give me quite a lot of troubles considering the discrimination that homosexuals are facing today. I would definitely have a different life and even a different view of life than most other people. But how would I actually feel?
ReplyDeleteIt depends on how my parents have been raising me, teaching me and treating me. If my homosexual parents were really great: kind, understanding, supportive and they taught me to become a good person, why would I curse my fate and feel ashamed to be in this family? I would, instead, feel very proud of and grateful to them. This pride and gratefulness will be great enough to help me overcome any prejudice and discrimination by society. If somebody came and laughed at me and my family, I would laugh back at them and say, "I want to meet your parents to see if they are anywhere near mine?!"
I think that the result of the study would differ if it was done on gay males: it would not be as good. The reason I believe so is that women, though they're lesbians, tend to do better at taking care of children. (Not every single woman is better at this but here I'm talking about the majority. And when we do a study like this, the majority count). As well, a child nurtured by two lesbian parents may develop different characteristics than a child that is nurtured by two gay parents. The former may turn out to be more expressive and emotional and the latter more disciplined, assertive as Simmi mentioned above.
The relationship between two partners who are homosexuals could be either true love or sexual attraction, just as that of two heterosexuals. We don't know the exact answer unless we are in the relationship. But when it comes to marriage, I believe that is true love with the same reasoning as Simmi's that homosexuals will not be willing to suffer the stigma to same-sex marriages if they don't love each other truthfully. If it was sheer sexual attraction, they could just stay as couples without ever getting married at all.
How does this affect their child? A child in general is influenced greatly by his parents. He will, more or less, acquire some of his parents' characteristics as he grows up. So is it likely that a child whose parents are homosexuals may develop the same characteristics and become homosexual himself?
Just to add something interesting that i read,
ReplyDeletethere is a recent study that shows that gay men and heterosexual women have similar shaped brains. Scientists have yet to confirm if brain shape is a contributing factor of one's sexual orientation but it is a suggestive fact.
Also, the majority of homosexuals would say that homosexuality is not a choice, but a small minority say that they feel it is a choice. The causes of homosexuality or lesbianism are not 100% known or confirmed. The causes of homosexuality can be debated to an extent. Also, biological factors don't explain why some men in prison and who have been heterosexual are willingly engage in homosexual acts (not including rape).
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ReplyDelete1. For your first question regarding "if" my parents were homosexual how would I feel, honestly I would not really know because I never experienced this but I can tell you what I think. First of all I would be acceptant of almost everything that my parents do until a certain age limit in which I start to develop my own personal thinking and see the world around me in a better perspective. After knowing that it takes a sperm and egg to make a
ReplyDeletechild I would probably look for my father if i was raised by lesbians or look for my mother if I was raised by gays. Also I would probably get angry at my biological mother or father for not telling me about my other biological mom or dad. Personally speaking I would not ignore this issue because it is not something to ignore and on the other hand I would not curse myself for being born in that family because there is nothing I could do to prevent it. I would just keep this in my mind and look for my biological parent if I did not know who they were. Finally I would make sure that I don't make my child go through what I went through.
2. I really think that this study is biased because they are looking at it from one point of view. All that matters is the individual them-self and how they treat their kids and how they cope with society. If this study was on gays it would differ a lot because men could not provide breast milk or other things that woman do. I think that there are some specific things that women do better than men in and vice versa. This is just my opinion and that is how I feel.
3. Generally speaking I think the relationship between homosexuals is similar to homosexual because a relationship is made up of true love and sexual attraction and if a couple has one or both of these things than it is love. If a couple who is homosexual love each other it would probably influence their children or child to be homosexual because many kids growing up think that what there parents are upon is always correct but
at the same time as the child grows up they make their own choices.
1. If my parents were homosexual , I don't really know what would I have done but what I do know is that it would have been a lot of shame. It would have been a problem in school and in my neighborhood.
ReplyDelete2. If the study would have been done on gay couples, it would have been the same. Homosexuals could be good parents as well.
3. I should probably call it true love. It's the couple that makes a choice of living together. We can call it a bit of a sexual attraction as well. This can effect the child in various ways. He can start thinking more about males (if he is boy).
- Abhishek desai said....
1. If my parents my homosexual, it would definitely been a lot of shame first, to be very honest. My religion doesn't really promote homosexual marriages. I would have been in a different mindset all together and things would have been much different.
ReplyDelete2. I would agree with Abhishek here on the study, if done on gay couples would have given the same result. I probably think that homosexual parents can make up good parents.
3. It's a bit of both . Sexual attraction comes up first and then it joins true love in the later phase of the life. This can effect the child as he can start thinking that his parents are homosexual and he would probably feel bad about it. It would be a bit of shame for him as well because he would see more heterosexuals than homosexuals.
@Abhishek
ReplyDelete-for your second anser, you said that homosexuals can be good parentsand in your first answer you said you will be ahsamed of them. when you grew up with them, why would you be ashamed of them? Like Abdinasir said, aftera certain age you would find it a little awkward. But I do not think that you should be ashamed of yourself. Isn't it like saying that you're ashamed of your heterosexual parents?
@ Ramit
With all due respect to your religion, I disagree with you. I understand that a religion does not promote or accept homosexuality, neither does mine. But as science has proved that homosexuality is not a choice, why wouldn't God accept it?
Also, just like I said to Abhisehk, how would you be ashamed of your own parents if you were with them throughout your own life! And just like I said before, isn't it like saying you are ashamed of your own parents?
Just to make it clear, I'm talking if you lived your entire life, since the time you were born in a family which have homosexual paorents.
ReplyDeleteIf my parents by any chance happened to be homosexuals, I would feel so shy to tell my friends or teachers that “these are my parents” in occasions such as Parent and Teacher Interviews etc. We are all aware of how students are capable of teasing their fellow colleague to an extent that he or she may feel bad about themselves. To prevent such humiliations, I wouldn’t bring my parents ever to the school. If I’m asked why my parents never attend school functions, I will try my best to come up with a convincing excuse.
ReplyDeleteThere would be a big difference if we based our facts on homosexual people. Like Hama, the male parents are more likely to teach their children about how to defend themselves from unpleasant attacks at school. These parents may basically teach their children how to be violent. Stereotypically, women are normally known to prepare dishes or dinners while the men go to work. Since there is an absence of the female, the males-homosexual people may always spend their money on fast-food joints which in most cases are unhygienic. This teaches the children how to be spend-drifts more than actually saving their money in the future.
It is so common for heterosexual couples to break up in a relationship because of ones uncontrollable sexual desire or unpleasant attitudes which collapses the relationship. Divorces in homosexual relationships are hardly seen because the couples seem to have the same purpose of being together which is, love more than sexual desires.